24 Aug MR: Deal with the “NO”
Manhood Resources is meant to assist males in their quest and responsibility to develop themselves into top quality men. Males are born. Men are built. Building males into men takes the right resources.
Deal with the “NO”
I watched episode 1 of “The Get Down” on Netflix last night. It was pretty good. What stuck with me was when Ezekiel poured his heart out to express his feelings for Mylene. The two characters are in high school but Zeke has serious love for Mylene. He is a natural wordsmith and poet so he’s spitting out some great stuff, but it is all from his heart. He is begging, pleading, crying for her to be his girl. He knows she has feelings of some kind for him so that gives him hope to continue. Gentlemen, you know how we are. If the door is cracked then it is open. Dude is so passionate and so sincere. He puts it all on the line, loses every conceivable cool point, and shoots his shot right after saving her life, and she still said no. Her decision was rational. She had her reasons. But to Ezekiel’s dismay she still said, no.
I felt Ezekiel’s pain. Man, I have been there. When you want to be with a female from your heart and not just prompted by your eyes and/or your ego to get with her, it is a major emotion. And she says, “No”? Again I felt the dude’s pain and was probably having a flashback. No is tough on a male. Rejection attacks the mind and the soul. It is an assault on the head and the heart. But since it is inevitable in some fashion or another and in some form or another, we better learn to effectively deal with it. Here is some truth that my help.
People have the right to say no.
It hurts to hear no. It may be unfair or incorrect. Yet, in interpersonal relationships people have to the right to tell you no. It does not matter how badly you want what you want, how hard you worked for it or who else has it. A female has the right to tell you no to any and every advance. She has the right to protect any boundary she sets relative to her body, time, money, or any other asset she possesses. An employer can tell you no. A wife can tell her husband no. People have the right to say no and to say it without your agreement and at times without explanation. No is a complete sentence.
Rejection is rarely a statement of your intrinsic value.
Rejection assaults the mind and the heart if you allow it. When a man is rejected concerning a matter of deep importance or consequence to him or is rejected frequently, it can cause real emotional pain and lower self-esteem. Men mask it and even ventilate it in different ways. (That is another discussion.) But, it is real. The key is don’t take it so personally. It is difficult, but you must make it a discipline. Occasionally rejection is a sign that you are not good fit, not ready for a particular opportunity, or just not that individual or organization’s cup of tea. Just because someone tells you no it doesn’t mean you aren’t good. Do not let it define you. Your value and someone else’s estimation of it are not synonymous.
Rejection can be for your own good in the end.
You have heard the statement “Rejection is direction”. A negative response could be the best thing for you. It could have saved you from something you didn’t see or it could keep you available for something or someone who is just around the corner. Rejection can also prevent you from wasting an opportunity for which you’re not presently ready. Better to wait for it a little longer than to get it to early an only have it for a short time.
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